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Lesson 1 from 'Bad Teacher': Watch something else


Meredith Davis (Ari Graynor) seeks to get her trophy wife life of leisure back by posing as a teacher at an upscale middle school in hopes of bagging a wealthy new husband. 'Bad Teacher' premieres Thursday at 9:30 ET/PT on CBS. CBS


Well, they got the 'bad' part right.


On a dismal night for broadcast premieres, give CBS marginal credit for having the better of the evening's two new shows - though considering how mind-alteringly awful ABC's Black Box is, that's a minimal achievement. Still, you can at least understand why CBS would turn Cameron Diaz's big-screen comedy into a sitcom (the movie was, after all, a hit) and why it thought a show built around a insult-wielding, husband-hunting, wildly inappropriate grade-school teacher might be a good companion for Two and a Half Men.


Unfortunately, it takes Bad Teacher (* ½ out of four; Thursday, 9:30 ET/PT) less than 30 minutes to feel as exhausted and repetitive as Men does after 11 years. While that may be a record, it's not the kind that wins you a gold star.


Ari Graynor steps in for Diaz as Meredith Davis, a former trophy wife who cons her way into a teaching job at a rich kids' elementary school - her goal being to marry a wealthy single father and get out. There's a built-in edge to that long-con setup, an edginess occasionally reinforced by some of Meredith's nastier jabs. But the show itself quickly falls into a predictably squishy pattern: Meredith does something mean and selfish, regrets it, and makes amends.


Despite an excellent and largely wasted supporting cast led by Kristin Davis, David Alan Grier and Sara Gilbert, Teacher is at heart a star vehicle, one that requires you to believe every man, woman and child would gape in open-mouthed awe at the sight of its star. Perhaps someday Graynor will be able to pull that off, but that day has not yet arrived.


When it does, let's hope she's in a better show.


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